Defending Character

People should be given the opportunity to protect their character. Giving folks the chance to safeguard themselves is fair—after all, integrity is involved.  When that opportunity is taken away, for some people, the results can be devastating. I’m sure many people have an “I must defend myself!” story. I know I do.

On one occasion, deceitful people assaulted my character. These devious people made dreadful statements to inflict harm to my reputation, but the nasty accusations they made did not belong to my character. I was not offended by their repugnant falsehood because I knew, and anyone who really knew me, knew the truth.

Unfortunately, a few people who I held in high esteem believed the accusers’ false assertions without question.

Because of this, my emotions were perplexed and complicated, for I was hurt and insulted.  “I knew I must defend myself.” But in order for me to defend and win this battle, I had to reexamine the many encounters I had with these vicious accusers. As I evaluated every meeting with these resentful individuals, I could not find any credence to their scandal. Nevertheless, I was confident that my naked truth would make me whole, and safeguard my integrity.

I was befuddled when it did not happen. “The Powers that Be” (People I held in high regards) did not allow me to defend myself. So unfair! I was the victim of the unspoken code.

In the end, I suffered betrayal and injustice. I concluded that tactful people were the very people who served raw deals that were unfair and inconsiderate. The folks that I held in high regards believed the words of deceptive people and deny me the opportunity to defend my character.

Stand up for your character.

At times, we are not given the opportunity to defend ourselves. It is because the powers that be are exerting their arrogance.

I will never allow people, no matter what label they wear, make me feel insignificant or worthless. My hard work, enthusiasm, and sacrifice are what define me.

“One Day All Them Bags Gone Get in Your Way”

“One day all them bags gone get in your way.” As we know, these lyrics sung by Erykah Badu are symbolic for the barriers that seep into our lives. Some folks have different types of strongholds translated into ‘baggage’ that stop the flow of conquest. These bags can stop or limit one’s ability to succeed. In my case, my performance was inadequate; the cause, my ‘baggage’ got in the way.

One particular part of that song resonated with me, “You gone miss your bus, you can't hurry up, cause you got too much stuff.” I thought to myself; of course, I will miss the bus dragging my bags like that. This was the very part of the song that ignited thought. If I miss that bus…I miss…?

First, I had to explore and define my ‘extra baggage’. What was my baggage? Then my assessment began. After a pensive process, I discovered that my extra baggage just happen to be my favorite pleasures. I did not want to connect the two because I so enjoyed these felicific treats, for they made me feel good, kept me blissful, inspired me to do nothing for a short period of time, and always made me believe that I was the smartest person in the universe. My pleasure! My baggage! A bitter sweet revelation!

I guess the smoking screen was the pleasure attached to my extra baggage. I knew I had to unpack those bags and put them in an auction, for I did not desire to miss another bus. The benefits of letting go of the extra baggage: Great Performance!

I have no extra bags in my way today, which is a guarantee that my mind is full of positive energy! Are “All Them Bags Gone Get in Your Way”?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQtg5iUW1fg

Positive: Staying Positive in Disappointment

I can attest to disappointments, for I have experienced plenty. Over the years, I have been turned down for jobs and organizations. Many times, I wanted to cry because it felt like the Green Gargantua slammed me into a brick wall, enduring endless agony.

One disappointing encounter I remember was in the early '80s when I applied for a job at a Subway restaurant in Staten Island, New York. After filling out the application, I was confident that I would get an interview. Several days later, I was called.

 I arrived at the restaurant and walked inside. From what I could remember, the manager was a tall white man with short black and grey hair. He had a large round stomach with a greasy apron wrapped around his huge waist. I respectfully spoke as I extended my hand to greet him. In an insolent tone, he asked me why was I there. I replied, "For the job interview." He bellowed!, “Tamara White!” I squelched, “Yes.” “Where did you get a name like that?” Said the big intimidating white man. My response was “Uh.” It took me aback because I did not know where the big guy was going with this. Immediately after the awkward dialogue, he announced that the position was filled; then he quickly walked away.

I stood there, it seemed for hours, before I gathered my thoughts. I could not believe I didn’t get the interview, nonetheless the job. (I found out later the true reason…that’s another topic). I experienced rejection and disappointment at the same time.

Although I went through such a disappointing experience, I never allowed it to discourage me. I learned that it was not the ending for Tamara, but one of many rejections. I knew I had to destroy the barriers that blocked my blessing. 

I am sure there are many of you who have experienced some type of disappointing situation. After all, it's a part of life. The question is how do we grab it? Or, Where do we grab it?

Yes, it is difficult to stay positive in disappointing situations, but finding ways to annihilate the obstacles that are annexed to our accomplishments will assist in managing disappointment.

Dreams: Why Do We Have Them?

I do not know the answer to why I dream. What I do know is that dreams are sometimes soothing to the soul.

Last night, I dreamed about my beloved who passed away years ago. The dream seemed so real that I woke up feeling melancholy. In the dream, my beloved and I were at home engaged in normal activities. The weather was unstirring. It felt as if summer was slowly approaching. The two oaks that stood parallel in the front yard were motionless. In fact, everything involving nature was stagnant. We were the only creatures with movement. In the house, only two rooms were visible, the kitchen and the bedroom. I was in the kitchen cooking, and the children were playing throughout the two rooms of the house. My beloved was in the bedroom getting dressed and softly singing a song he wrote called, If I Could See the Light. I entered the bedroom to give him my sex then send him off.

The children were still playing in the motionless environment, the food was still cooking in the kitchen, and his song was echoing throughout the rooms.

 I WOKE UP! In my mind, I looked for him, but my reality informed me that he was not here.

He never came home from work. No beloved. My heart was devastated, my mind in chaos, and my soul empty. He was gone. He was gone. I had woken up. 

 (If it’s a little confusing, remember this is my dream)

This dream aroused some sweet memories of my beloved and me, but it also reminded me of the mourning stuck in the core of my soul.  I certainly miss my beloved. 

My dreams are the bridges that link us together from time to time. Perhaps that is why I dream.